22 February 2014

New Heights In Plumbing Record Lows

February 2014 will be known for the new heights India scaled in plumbing record lows, pardon the mixed metaphors. Chaos in Parliament, a very poor Budget, assassins set free … every which way we turned, chaos and confusion ruled.

Each day we were told: a record low in a democracy. But these commentators forget they are talking about India.

Much the same has been said for a long time. Emergency, Bhopal, Babri Masjid, Godhra – each a shorthand for a record low. Yet we have plumbed deeper levels and will continue to do so.

The creation of India’s 29th state, Telengana, turned out to be a highly charged affair. First one MP tried to Mace his colleagues. In the Rajya Sabha, the House of Elders, one worthy attempted a choke slam on the Chairman even as we all watched it live.

Just a few hours earlier, the same issue had rocked Lok Sabha. But we will never know the details. The editor in charge of TV coverage mirrored the late Rajaji’s feelings when he was writing about the outrage forced on Draupadi. “My hand trembles at the very thought of the atrocity about to happen,” he said as the scene unfolds on one of that vilest of deeds.

But unlike that great man who went on to record the details, this editor lost his nerve and turned off the cameras. So what happened there we’ll never know, except the fact that there was some pretty stirring stuff.

The 15th parliament will also go down in history as the one with the worst performance. The economy has been left in a shambles, a state sponsored partition, dubious records on corruption levels - the past ten years have been pretty rough. 

But India, as we all know, has the remarkable ability to bounce back and the next ten years are bound to see these records outperformed.

The only person who appeared to enhance his persona was the Prime Minster, Manmohan Singh. His declaration of India’s 29th state, Telengana, was done with an eerie calm. 

Eerie because there was one MP literally in his face. Inches away. And screaming to boot. Yet the PM carried on without batting an eyelid, his demeanour calm and voice even.

Makes you wonder whether there is more to the man than meets the eye. Others think so as well. Apparently, the US lavished its most expensive state dinner on Singh than on anybody else since 2009. Poets, prophets and PMs never seem to be fully appreciated in their own land.

India also became more dangerous for journalists, which may not be exactly a bad thing. With 13 messengers killed India became the fourth most dangerous place for journalists and marked as “mostly not free”. The recent controversy around Wendy Doniger and Penguin also brought to light that India was 131nd on the Press Freedom Index.

Indians had little luck overseas as well. Data showed "an exceptionally high mortality rate" in Qatar since 455 Indians had died in 2012 and 2013 while working for Qatar, the 2022 World Cup host. 

Human Rights Watch said the figures were "horrendous" and gave "an indication of an unfolding tragedy in Qatar".

A less troubled Indian embassy said the "overwhelming number" of deaths were due to natural causes, and remained “consistent in the last five years,” while Qatar insisted “there was nothing untoward” in these figures.

People of Madras had their fears confirmed when corporation data showed that 85% of the roads were of poor quality, something that all are reminded each time we take a bone jarring drive.

The only silver lining that one could see was in a report finding the key to long marriage. Adultery, said a study, could be the key to a happy marriage. "Outsourcing" areas of marriage such as sex to other suitors could make a relationship work in the long run, it said.

Considering India’s leadership status in the outsourcing field, some people have begun to perk up.

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