Weekly Bulletin

Dear Kumar: Saw your mail about 15 minute news-bites on India. Was much moved. But things are going swimmingly here, bar a few hiccups. Luckily the Shia-Sunni conflict you were interested in has not yet spilled over into Hindustan. But there is time still so do not lose hope.

There are early symptoms of a pretty nasty virus, known in some circles as poll fever. So everybody is kind of busy here. It has even affected our Prime Minister, who we all thought had attained the serenity of a Zen monk. You may find this hard to believe - he actually held a press conference. His second (or third) IN TEN YEARS. And he has even begun to say that there could have been some mistakes in the allocations of coal blocks.

In case you are wondering what that is, it is just one of those minor things that happened during his last stint as PM, along with some unkind (and downright slanderous) reports on financial irregularities in Adarsh Housing, Commonwealth Games, 2G Spectrum and so on.

But to be fair to Mr Singh he is after all answerable to the de facto ruler of India, Mr Rahul Gandhi. While his father only kicked out the country’s Foreign Secretary in a televised press meet, Mr Rahul has gone further, much further, turning down a bill which his party had shepherded through Parliament and generally donning the cloak of an extra-constitutional authority. Could be there is some Sicilian blood in him.

Mr Rahul has also provided some much needed comedy relief. Addressing business magnates and industry leaders he said poverty and corruption are holding back development. By having seen this after a mere ten year rule of his party he has shown signs of a wise head on young shoulders. He definitely gets my vote for being the one-eyed man among (and hence the king of) blind men. And now, after the events in Delhi where an upstart upstaged his party, he is getting a multi-crore PR make-over for the polls.

There is cheery news on other fronts too. Our electronic media, led by the calm and fair minded Mr Arnab Goswami, provide us 24 hour breaking news. They have hit upon an ingenious idea – select a 10 second, or shorter, film and loop it endlessly. Loads of fun.

Our elected representatives are doing their job in a splendid way. For instance, MLAs from Karnataka have planned a visit to the rain forests of South America to study ways to help their drought hit state.

However, they have been preempted by a group from Uttar Pradesh that has gone on a fact-finding trip to some Commonwealth countries only to find out that they have been misled and are in EU cities instead. A ten day party, complete with dancing movie stars including M F Hussain’s dream girl, is enthralling UP whilst a short distance away some irresponsible people are crying for blankets and housing to protect their children from freezing cold.

Meanwhile the redoubtable Mr Modi has become evangelical in his fervour to alter India’s future. Never mind niggling doubts of his cobbling together a minority government and that his party’s agenda is the same as that of the Congress. He will change India or hell will freeze over.

Oh wait, that has already happened right, in Michigan?

Hope this missive finds you in good health and of good cheer. Otherwise just let me know, and I will send more news on wholesome subjects like a family feud in Tamil Nadu, how the burden of proof has shifted to the accused, and how a Communist party leader made a bed of currency just because he wanted know how it felt like to sleep on money. And above all on how a father angered by charges made by his daughter’s maid is threatening to derail the diplomatic ties between India and USA.